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 Party in London's biggest new club, go bowling with your mates, grab the best pizza in London or catch a bit of burlesque... There are plenty of things to do in London if you're single or if you want to put two fingers up at Cupid. And with Valentine's Day falling on a Saturday, there are much better things to be doing that forking out for a three-course meal and a dozen red roses.
 Russell Peters live at the O2 O2 Arena, SE10 0DX 14th February 2009 Canada's premier East-Indian comedian Russell Peters drops into the O2 Arena for a special Valentine's Day show. The acclaimed stand-up comic - who has called himself 'Osama bin Laughin' - will run through his array of cultural stereotyped characters in one of his trademark rebellious performances which often see him build up an instant relationship with the crowd ("A white guy with a brown girl. Good job, buddy. Her parents must be soooo happy...") So, if you're single on February 14th, why not laugh it all away with this healthy mix of satire, improvisation, racial ice-skating and observational comedy. An ideal night out with a group of friends could be topped off with a visit to London's new super-club, Matter, just around the corner. Venue: O2 Arena Address: Peninsula Square, SE10 0DX Phone: 020 8463 2000 Date: 14th February 2009 Time: 8pm (doors 7pm) Pricing: £35 - £45.50 Nearest Station: North Greenwich Tube Russell Peters live at the O2 - Information   Kinky Malinki @ MatterMatter, The O2, SE10 0DX 14th February 2009 No one wants to be stuck at home alone on Valentine's Day so whisk up a group of your mates and head to Matter at the O2 Arena. It was always going to take something quite special to erase the embarrassment of the quite frankly useless Millennium Dome, but London's new uber-club has done just that. Along with the outstanding concert venue at the O2 Arena, Matter has put the area back on the map, and wiped the smirk off the faces of its detractors. This juggernaut of a club holds 2,600 people and will be hosting the ever-popular Kinky Malinki on Valentine's Day. So forget all this romance malarkey and get your dancing feet down to Greenwich for a big night out on the town. Who knows, you might even meet someone that, er, matters... One thing's for certain - you'll have a rollicking night. Tom Novy and CJ Mackintosh also headline. Venue: Matter Address: The O2, Peninsula Square, SE10 0DX Phone: 020 7549 6686 Date: 14th February 2009 Time: 10pm-7am Pricing: £10 Nearest Station: North Greenwich Tube Kinky Malinki @ Matter - Information  Men's Afternoon Tea at the MandevilleMandeville Place, W1U 2BE 14th February 2009 Sophisticated, single man-about-town? Or simply frustrated when your girlfriend insists on more sale shopping in Selfridges? This could prove the perfect tonic. Don your chinos and tweed and drop into the effortlessly chic Mandeville Hotel in haughty Marylebone for the capital's only afternoon tea for men. Think of it as the culinary and social equivalent of a Yorkie bar for the discerning male customer. Offering a range of whiskies as well as champagne, tea with the boys is accompanied by a selection of grown-up games available at the bar. Eschew female favourites such as Connect 4 and Guess Who? - unwind over a round of backgammon, cards or chess. Add to that a feast of roast sirloin sandwiches, chicken satays and potted shrimps followed by hearty chocolate brownies and scones, washed down with a selection of Earl Gray and Darjeeling's as well as a variety of the finest bourbons. All this served in the stunning deVille restaurant on fabulous Tiffany blue china from £22.50. Guys, isn't it always better when you do it on your own? Venue: Mandeville Hotel Address: Mandeville Place, Westminster, W1U 2BE Phone: 020 7935 5599 Date: 14th February 2009 Time: 3pm-5.30pm Pricing: From £22.50 Nearest Station: Bond Street Tube Men's Afternoon Tea at the Mandeville - Information  Six Nations Rugby on Valentine's DayFamous 3 Kings, W149NL 14th February 2009 For many people, February 14th is just another day. Take international rugby players, for example. There will be no time for red roses, wining and dining and whispering sweet nothings in the scrum for these hulking brutes, with France taking on Scotland, and Wales entertaining England in week two of the 2009 Six Nations on Valentine's Day. Why not head to West Kensington's Famous 3 Kings, one of London's finest sports pubs, to watch your team in action? With three big screens and 16 plasma TVs dotted around the bar, you won't miss any of the action. This recently revamped bright, spacious pub has a strong Welsh following, making it an ideal venue for the clash against England (5.30pm). Arrive early for the 4pm kick-off for France v Scotland and order from the bar menu for a bite to eat. What's more, seeing that rugby has such a big following from both guys and girls, you might well even meet your match - or simply settle for a hooker... Venue: Famous 3 Kings Address: 171-173 North End Road, W149NL Phone: 020 7603 6071 Date: 14th February 2009 Time: From 3pm Nearest Station: West Kensington Tube Six Nations Rugby on Valentine's Day - Information  Dumb Love - Oh My God I Miss You Valentine's SpecialBethnal Green Working Men's Club, E2 6NB 14th February 2009 This rag-and-bone East End venue is building up a bit of a cult following, and it's not hard to see why. Yes, it might be out in the sticks a little, but the bar is cheap, the building (for all its ramshackleness) has a certain charm and the crowd is sprightly and hip. To celebrate Cupid's flights of fancy, the working men's club is putting on Dumb Love, a Valentine's special by innovative promoters Oh My God I Miss You. It promises to be a hilarious night of tongue-in-cheek (and firmly down the back of the throat) romance - a lovesick burlesque played out to a string of love anthems by classic crooners. If she's wondering 'How in the world can I meet men in a respectable way?' and he's thinking 'How in the blazes do I go about meeting a nice girl?' then this is for you. The dress code is 'famous get-togethers' such as Bill and Ted, Eva and Adolf, Bonnie and Clyde, Lady and the Tramp, Charles and Diana and, er, Chalk 'n' Cheese. So, get a group of friends together and head to Bethnal Green for an anti-Valentine's night that covertly hopes to actually unleash some arrows of love. Venue: Bethnal Green Working Men's Club Address: Pollards Row, E2 6NB Phone: 020 7739 7170 Date: 14th February 2009 Time: 9pm-2am Nearest Station: Bethnal Green Tube Dumb Love - Oh My God I Miss You Valentine's Special - Information  Bacchanalia Valentine's Ball (at a secret location)Surprise Venue 14th February 2009 Remember that rather perplexing film Eyes Wide Shut, starring Tom Cruise and his then-wife Nicole Kidman? In said film, well-healed, voracious thrill-seekers got together at glamorous, secret locations and, wearing nothing but a face mask and the odd cloak, proceeded to let off steam by having what can only be described as a mass orgy. Well, this Secret Garden Party event should be a bit like that. Named after the legendary ancient gatherings when women would get together in worship of Dionysis, the god of wine, madness and sexual ecstasy, this Bacchanalia Ball is not for the faint-hearted. The unknown venue, which will be announced prior to the event to ticket holders only, promises to feature a murky, candlelit warren of passages in a 'den of iniquity' where mythical nymphs and fawns will roam to the tune of myriad live bands and DJs as performers play out a series of ancient myths and legends. Sound strange? Well, it should be - but tell us you're not slightly curious to say the least? Tickets for this private decadence are limited and available only through GTickets (www.gtickets.co.uk). Costumes are a must - if only to disguise your blushes. Dress code: Ancient Gods, Godesses and Mythical Creatures - but no togas, apparently. Venue: Secret Location
Tickets: GTickets www.gtickets.co.uk Date: 14th February 2009 Time: 8.30pm-6am Pricing: £36 Nearest Station: Secret Location Bacchanalia Valentine's Ball (at a secret location) - Information  DJ Derek at the Notting Hill Arts ClubNotting Hill Arts Club, W11 3JQ 14th February 2009 Dust off your comedy Jamaican hat and head down to the Notting Hill Arts Club for reggae turntabler extraordinaire DJ Derek. If anyone is likely to make you forget about Cupid's arrow it's this 66-year-old former accountant from Bristol. After more than a decade adding numbers for Cadburys, the keen drummer and washboard player broke free of his shackles and pursued his dream - playing reggae in the west Indian pubs in Bristol (his other passion is Wetherspoon pubs - he has visited every one of them in the UK, including that nasty one opposite Angel Tube...). Despite never having set foot in Jamaica, DJ Derek MCs in the island's patois after picking the lingo up from his local barber. Accepted by the black music industry, his music has influenced the likes of Massive Attack and the evergreen entertainer is now a resident DJ at two London clubs, including the happening Notting Hill Arts Club. This promises to be a real party and a nostalgic Valentine's excursion that will have about as much to do with romance as the bespectacled old codger behind the turntables. Venue: Notting Hill Arts Club Address: 21 Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ Phone: 020 7460 4459 Date: 14th February 2009 Time: 7pm-2am Pricing: Free before 8pm, £6 until 11pm then £8 Nearest Station: Notting DJ Derek at the Notting Hill Arts Club - Information  Valentine's Varie-TeaseBush Hall, W127LJ 13th & 14th February 2009 If you can't better a private striptease from a loved one yourself on Valentine's night, then why not head out into seedy Uxbridge in search of some salacious - and entirely legitimate, of course - entertainment. Ever since it was revealed that the granddaughter of Fawlty Towers's Manuel was in fact a rather raunchy dancer, burlesque has been on the tip of everyone's (and not just Russell Brand's) tongue. Last year saw the inaugural London Burlesque Festival, while venues such as The Pigalle Club popped up with their own special shows. The Bush Hall at Shepherd's Bush is hosting a Valentine's Varie-Tease for two nights - an erotic evening of sultry song, sizzling strip tease and saucy cabaret from London's 'naughtiest newbies and dazzling divas'. Brought to you by the infamous King of Burlesque Chaz Royal, the man who brought us the hilariously named 'Pavabotti - The Naked Tenor', Varie-Tease should take your mind of matters of the heart and instead send your pulse racing. Tickets from ticketweb.co.uk. Venue: Bush Hall Address: 310 Uxbridge Road, W127LJ Phone: 020 8222 6933 Date: 13th & 14th February 2009 Time: 7pm-midnight Pricing: £12.50-£18.50 Nearest Station: Shepherd's Bush Market Tube Valentine's Varie-Tease - Information  Pizza at PorchettaLa Porchetta (chains around north London) 14th February 2009 Throw two fingers up at St Valentine and head along to one of the six north London branches of this exceptional pizza chain. Romance is not a word you'd associate with La Porchetta, so unless one hapless boyfriend has really come a cropper, you and your mates should be free from the ubiquitous array of shy men pulling out chairs and blushing women clasping a red rose forced upon them by some deviant table-to-table salesman. The food at Porchetta is simple but never fails to hit the spot, while the ingredients are all decidedly Italian. For example, you order Bruschetta at Pizza Express and you're left underwhelmed. Order it here, and for a mere £3.50 you will get some of the most juicy tomatoes ever to pass your lips, doused in olive oil and seasoned with garlic and basil. Simplicity at its best. The strong point in this family-owned chain, however, are its huge, oven cooked pizzas. Girls will struggle finishing half of what is put in front of them, while guys will have a grin on their faces bigger than a Cheshire cat. Our personal favourite is the Quattro Fromaggi, which boasts the most exquisite Gorgonzola. Ask for some extra Parma ham on top and you will not regret it. Branches each have their own distinctive character and can be found in Holborn, Islington, Upper Street, Chalk Farm and (our favourite) Rosebery Avenue - a stone's throw from Exmouth Market. Venue: La Porchetta Address: 84-86 Rosebery Avenue, EC1R 4QY (plus 5 others) Phone: 020 7837 6060 Date: 14th February 2009 Time: From 7pm Pricing: Huge pizzas from £7 Nearest Station: Angel La Porchetta - Information  Bowling at All Star LanesAll Star Lanes, 95 Brick Lane, E1 6QL 14th February 2009 There's no doubt about it, bowling is making a serious comeback in London and much of this is down to All Star Lanes and its elegant 1950s retro-American themed venues. This third addition to the family was made in November last year and is already proving a hit due to its superb location in the Old Truman Brewery on happening Brick Lane, a stone's throw away from the area's trademark curry houses, bars and clubs. Bowling with a bunch of your friends is an ideal way to start the night off and All Star's highly recommended bar and diner - which make it a destination in its own right - mean its now also a pretty decent place to carry on your night too. Given the popularity of bowling nowadays it will be essential to book a lane in advance on Valentine's Day - but if you do manage to pull it off, what better way to forget the tedium of hearts, roses and flowers (a special 'anti-Valentine's' night has been planned) than pinging down some balls and watching those pins fly. Big Lebowski - eat your heart out. Venue: All Star Lanes Address: 95 Brick Lane, Tower Hamlets, E1 6QL (plus two others) Phone: 020 7426 9200 Date: 14th February 2009 Time: Midday-12.30am Pricing: £6-£8.50 per game Nearest Station: Aldgate East Tube All Star Lanes - Information |
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