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Every Londoner’s got something to say about who should be London Mayor but the time to cross the right box is drawing near. The pressure’s on, Ken and Boris are going to the wire but whose name will be above the door come 1st May?
 Our Ken Labour An ongoing battle with public transport, the Congestion Charge, allegations of a real fight, the Congestion Charge, diplomatic foreign policy (longing for the day when the Saudi royal family are “swinging from lamp-posts” was a particular high point), loving relationship with the Evening Standard - did we mention the Congestion Charge? - and enough public gaffs to make Prince Philip look positively PC...Ken Livingstone is a proper politician. He also has the added bonus of having "run" (I use the term loosely) London for eight years – sure, he’s made a few (hundred) mistakes but, as London’s first Mayor, he’s been feeling his way, making up policies, building up his popularity with Heads of State...Tony Blair once said Ken would be a "disaster" for London (pot...kettle...black) but had to eat his words when Labour welcomed him back into the fold, once they realised he might just be staying put in the 2004 mayoral election. As for policies, well, the Tube probably needs a bit of work, there surely must be more 4 x 4 drivers around Fulham to upset with the C-word and the youf of today always need some attention to keep them off London streets...enough for a third term? Favourite Soundbite: "Only some ghastly, dehumanised moron would want to get rid of the Routemaster." (Ken on the art of politics, 2001 - tell 'em what they want to hear and then go ahead regardless four years later...)   BorisConservative Ah, now, here’s the rub - this man could actually become London Mayor. Just because he's been quite funny on 'Have I Got News For You' a few times; this is not a good enough reason to let him loose on London. Paul Merton once quipped that Boris Johnson was "the person to lead this country back into the 17th century" when Iain Duncan Smith resigned, but now our great city is at risk from this over-sized public schoolboy. He's already an MP - worrying enough in itself - but it is only for Henley so presumably he just turns up once a year for the Regatta. A diet of Eton, Classics (what else?) at Oxford and editing 'The Spectator' will mean that he’s well-versed in the art of bumbling about the Conservative Party at toffs' dinner parties but smoking cigars over several thousand-year-old single malt whiskies with Mr "call me Dave" Cameron is, frankly, not even going to sort out getting round London on a bike (one of cycle-mad Boris’s more personal policies). Still, he is in favour of phasing out bendy buses and bringing back the Routemaster (was that a yawn you were trying to stifle, Boris?)...He's also, apparently, given up booze for the duration of the campaign; lest he appears even more dopey than usual when he’s had a tipple? Why stop now? Favourite Soundbite: "Look the point is…er, what is the point? It is a tough job but somebody has got to do it." (Boris after being named Shadow Arts Minister, 2004...articulate, in control, perceptive - it's almost worth him becoming Mayor just to hear his speech...Almost!)  Brian PaddickLiberal Democrats Away from the public fray of Ken versus Boris, "The clash of the Titans!" as one Facebook group has called it, Brian Paddick, or that Lib Dem candidate, y'know the ex police commander, has launched his own er...Facebook page. And he’s serious about London apparently - well, he’s got to do something novel while the other two provide us with endless amusement and bicker amongst themselves. But he’s not completely devoid of humour - he does, after all, want Ken and Boris to join him in running the London Marathon to prove they’re "mentally and physically fit" enough to be Mayor...I don’t think we need to go there (Boris in shorts, wrong, so wrong) to know that they’re not, but perhaps Brian knows this is the only arena where he can expect a landslide victory. But for someone so fresh to the political hotpot, he’s warming up nicely with a few well-timed 'pokes' at his opponents. He’s also got quite a lot to say about crime but is probably best-known for his "softly-softly" approach to cannabis on the streets of Lambeth – if all the stoned people in Brixton can find their way to the polls, he might just stand a chance. He promises to step down if he doesn’t cut crime by 20% in his first term (so, we’ll be rid of him if he doesn’t deliver by the time of the next election… riiiiight). Favourite Soundbite: "Lib Dems are famous for recycling, so we’re not going to scrap the bendy buses, we’re going to push them out to the suburbs where there are nice long straight roads with big gaps between junctions…" (Brian Paddick not on crime, 2007)  Sian BerryGreen Party Sian Berry looks like she wouldn’t be out of place at a "Ban the Bomb" protest in the 60s - girl next door (well, Camden anyway), hippy chick, political wild child; for sheer ingenious marketing you've got to hand it to the Green Party. And she’s always pictured surrounded by greenery - I’m surprised they haven’t put flowers in her (long blonde) hair to complete the picture. Her fresh-faced image (maybe just a smudge of mascara for her publicity shots) with her un-squeaky clean habit of smoking has brought a touch of glamour to the Mayoral campaign trail - a veritable breath of fresh air from the Ken and Boris show - but wait, there’s more! There's a firecracker of a politician just bursting to get out; she's bright, articulate and seems to have some sensible ideas (note: there is the slightly hippy policy of making Parliament Square a "Zone of Free Protest". Still, could be fun). She wants to keep Boris out - hooray! - and has made an election pact with Ken to insure against this, presumably after they bonded over their mutual dislike of gas-guzzling 4 x 4s and Ken hiked the Congestion Charge for Chelsea tractors up to 25 squids. She also wants to insulate Londoners' homes for free – excellent idea, something to do with climate change – and build a greener, more affordable London...shame she’s the candidate for the Greens, which means she’s got a slim-to-none chance of becoming London's next Mayor but hey, let’s not let that get in the way... Favourite Soundbite: "Gordon Brown thinks you should solve climate change by changing your light bulbs. We think you should solve climate change by changing your government." (Bright spark Berry tells it like it is, 2007)  Gerard BattenUK Independence Party It is just simply not true that Gerard Batten does not like Europe. He’s represented London in the European Parliament since 2004, after all. True, he doesn’t believe in it and spends most of his time trying to get Britain to withdraw from the European Union, kind of infiltrating from the inside James Bond style, but he learnt the art of persistence from being a British Telecom salesman for 28 years. For some light bedtime reading his annual study "How Much Does the European Parliament Cost Britain?" is good if you’ve got insomnia - or you could just read about it in the Daily Mail the next day for a hyped up version. Favourite Soundbite: "Sometimes people introduce us as the anti-Europe party. And we’re not. We love Europe. How can you hate a whole continent? That’s just stupid. What we are against is the European Union, which is a political construction." (Gerard Batten, 2008, just making his position clear in case he wants to holiday in the south of France this year)  Matt O'ConnorEnglish Democrats There’s always a candidate who’s a little bit off-the-wall - who can forget Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party vying for votes (with a few stunts along the way) - but in this case it's scaling walls that's the problem. For the Mayoral election we’ve got the rather more dully named Matt O’Connor, the brains behind the superhero shenanigans of Fathers 4 Justice, in the frame. Thankfully for London, the only frame he’s got a chance of getting in is the window frame of whatever government building he tries to climb up, possibly dressed as Boris, in an attempt to attract as much publicity as possible to his cause. But what, pray tell, is the cause for the English Democrats? Is it all about being English? Nooooo! O’Connor wants to put "fathers back into families" (no surprises there) and, apparently, build a statue of Batman outside Buckingham Palace...ah, this is what politics is all about! Favourite Soundbite: "Credibility? Boris Johnson is running. If he stands next to me, I’ll look like a more serious candidate." (Matt O’Connor, 2008, makes a fair point that his Fathers 4 Justice stunts do not make him look any more ridiculous than Boris)  Lindsey GermanLeft List If "Red Ken" is, well, red, then Lindsey German is an in-your-face fire engine, pillar box shade of scarlet. All those disillusioned Labour voters or ex-miners now have a candidate they can plump for, venting their frustration at the regime via the ballot box. Being decidedly left of Labour there's a Robin Hood approach of taking from the rich to give to the poor in taxing the wealthy. Ms German is a founder member of the Stop the War Coalition, she would certainly never be seen crossing any picket lines and she's active in grabbing her placard and campaigning against lots of stuff to do with inequality. This lady's not afraid to wear her socialist heart on her sleeve, which means she may actually do a most unpolitical thing and stand by her policies. Favourite Soundbite: "One moment the Prime Minister is supporting the right of the Burmese monks to demonstrate in Rangoon, and yet here in London we're being stopped from marching on Parliament. It’s hypocrisy." (Lindsey German, 2007, a little bit annoyed at her civil liberties being infringed upon)  Winston McKenzieIndependent Winston McKenzie just loves the thrill of politics or perhaps he was genuinely confused about what party to join - it happens! He’s been a member of Labour, a spokesman for Veritas and joined the Tories after David Cameron’s election as leader, putting his name forward to be the Conservative candidate for the Mayoral elections. Unfazed by not being on the shortlist, he’s decided to go solo to try and become "London’s first black Mayor". If self-confidence and dramatic statements are enough to convince Londoners, he could be in with a shot, or possibly (as an ex boxer) a left hook out of nowhere. The best bit about his campaign has to be his rap (yes, you read that correctly, his rap!). Favourite Soundbite: "'Cos I’m BIG on POLICY, BIG on COMMUNITY, and….BIG on COMMITMENT. So, Bring it on boyz!" (Winston McKenzie, 2008, er, rapping)  Alan CraigChristian People’s Alliance It was always going to be contentious to oppose the building of a mosque in east London (there goes a few votes) but Alan Craig's not going to get any support from people who love gambling or gay couples wanting to adopt, for that matter. Still, he’s got the Christian vote - oh, well he may have lost the liberal wing of the Church of England after he said the Bishop of Southwark should resign for allegedly getting drunk and throwing toys out of a Mercedes window, whilst declaring "I’m the Bishop of Southwark. It’s what I do." So, that leaves people in his church definitely and others who just think he...looks like a mayor. Favourite Soundbite: "The important thing is to be open about our mistakes and honest about our failings. Then the electorate can judge whether they want us to run London for them. I’ll start by admitting I have 6 current penalty points for speeding on my driving licence. It’s something I’m certainly not proud of." (Alan Craig, 2008, proves that next to Ken and Boris he’s got the moral upper hand) Richard Barnbrook
British National Party And then there’s the candidate for the BNP, but why ruin a perfectly entertaining political spectacle by bringing him into the equation? So there! |
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