The announcement by the Mayor’s Office of a new annual festival set for the weekend beginning April 1st has opinions divided. ‘High Times’ is intended to celebrate the contribution of tall people to the city. Happening in Trafalgar Square the event will comprise elongated performances by a collection of vertically conspicuous bands, over-stretched speeches by a number of tall celebrities (including footballer, Peter Crouch, and Top Gear presenter, Jeremy Clarkson), not to mention a whole host of appropriately elevated stalls and information stands organised by tall clubs and manufacturers from around the UK.
Promoters point out that tall people are an oft overlooked section of the population: “Most people are totally unaware of the problems tall people suffer simply due to their height. Inadequate bed length, low doorways and unfashionable clothes - the list is endless. Hopefully this festival will heighten awareness and give tall people a raised forum for discussion.”
Tim Towers, 6ft 5" from Bethnal Green, was keen to point out that advice for tall people is not readily available: “People with every other disability have somewhere they can turn, so it’s great to see us tallies getting a mention for once. Tallness isn’t a disability as such, but it can make life really hard at times.”
All well and good, but you have to ask the question: is this political correctness gone too far? Every year Londoners love to celebrate diversity through events like the Diwali, the St Patrick’s Day Parade and Black History Month. These festivals all, undoubtedly, add something to our vibrant city. But a festival for tall people? What next? Will I be popping down to the local Big Ears Club to learn about how I was scarred for life by taunts in the playground and advice on where to buy an extra large pair of ear muffs?
Good intentions can lead to ridiculousness at times, and it’s hard not to detect a faint air of condescension. My Dad is a tall guy at 6ft 4" and I’ve rarely heard him complaining (his mouth's positioned high above my normal hearing range!). In fact, being tall has conferred him many advantages (picking fruit from tall trees, playing badminton etc.). Fine, tall people make a contribution, but there are plenty of minority groups out their, and not all of them can have a festival.
I know I won’t be out in Trafalgar Square on 1st April. And if you turn up you're a bigger April fool than I am. You won’t be able to see the stage anyway.
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