Nelson's Column
Link To Us Bookmark
April
Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 9th April 2006
Can the nanny state cope with my state of mind?
I was a late adopter of the Oyster Card – like so many Londoners my immediate reaction to London Underground telling me to do something is to give them a taste of their own medicine and delay it as long as possible.

So a few months ago I finally bought one, topped it up with my hard-earned cash, and learnt the trick of swooping it across the reader without taking it out of the rather dinky little suede wallet I bought for it. And then I lost it. And then I lost my next one a few days later. And another one a few days after that, when I hadn’t even had anything to drink! An unusually perky Station Assistant pitched to get me to fork out for a monthly Oyster, but I brusquely refused him, since this would just exacerbate the problem.

It’s not that it’s going to break the bank, and any lefty conspiracy-theorist will tell you that it’s good to lose these things occasionally… stops Them from tracking your movements. I’m just worried about what’s going to happen when they bring out the ID card. Am I going to have to start stockpiling tinned food, unable to leave the house because I left my ID card in Sketch after my friend’s birthday? Will I come under suspicion of ID trading every time I have a bad month and have to apply for a new one three or four times? Will they even fit in attractive mini-wallets with discreet designer logos on the side?

Though I suspect that actually the capital is going to be rather a good place to avoid all this stuff. We’ve all grown up being hemmed in by health and safety, and we’ve all learnt just how ingenious Londoners can be at ignoring and bending the law. I somehow can’t picture the home of the protest march and the orbital rave as a place where people will just give up their cigarettes, carry their cards and smile at the CCTV.

And yes, I know it’s all for our benefit, but we wouldn’t be British if we didn’t drag our feet and complain, and we certainly wouldn’t be Londoners if we didn’t find some way of bending the law as close to breaking point as it will go.
Are You Being Sentenced?
Oxford Street department store Selfridges has agreed, in theory, to install 10 cells inside its shop. The arrangement, reached with Metropolitan Police, means that the store will be able to hold suspected Oxford Street shoplifters and credit card fraudsters on its premises.
Ginger Nuts
It sounds like an April Fool, and maybe it is, but rumour has it that the Oxford Street Plaza is to host a special weekend on April 1st and April 2nd devoted to red-heads. Head on down for your chance to vote for your celebrity carrot-top.
Capability Townies
Neglected public areas of south London are being spruced up by a team of guerrilla gardeners. Under the cover of darkness the green-fingered gang brighten up verges, roundabouts and traffic islands using a lethal arsenal of begonias, bulbs and Baby Bio.
2009
2008
23rd December
January is on the Horizon
20th December
Merry Christmas
26th November
All The World's A Stage
20th November
Surviving the Crunch
24th October
Boris v Jingjing
17th October
Soaps in Pole Position
23rd September
Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea
16th September
The London Restaurant Awards
26th August
No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues
20th August
The Olympics
24th July
Sandwiched Out
17th July
The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3
26th June
Love All at Wimbledon
16th June
Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant
27th May
Booze Banned on Buses
20th May
Same Again?
23rd April
By George
11th April
Back to the 80s
28th March
How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea?
20th March
Flight Fantastic
20th February
Dark, Satanic Turnmills
6th February
A Diamond in the Drink
21st January
People Wanted for Plinth
14th January
Boo! Hiss!
2007
28th December
Tate That - A Hirst for Art
20th December
Christmas Shopping
27th November
Mind the Gap
26th November
London On A Tray
26th October
Leaving the Station
14th October
The Sky's the Limit
26th September
The Play Within A Play
19th September
Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks
12th September
Saying Tanks for the Mammaries
24th August
Heathrow under Siege
17th August
Gormless
10th August
Losing Face
24th July
Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer?
13th July
Red Ken versus Blonde Boris
22nd June
Last Orders at the Fag Machine
11th June
London the Musical
21st May
What Lurks Beneath
10th May
The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of
27th April
London’s Walk on the Wild Side
20th April
Stand Behind the Yellow Line
13th April
Like Water for Chocolate
23rd March
So, Another Magazine
16th March
Avoiding iContact
23rd February
Sex and Art...
16th February
C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government
9th February
Live Earth London
26th January
A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain
18th January
Carriage on up the West End
2006
29th December
Food for Thought
22nd December
A Poisonous Marketing Campaign
15th December
In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds
17th November
Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold
10th November
Failing to Save the World
27th October
Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps
20th October
Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk
13th October
Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street
16th September
Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back
9th September
Of Poles and Twiglets
25th August
Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable
11th August
London Friendly
4th August
Archway To Organic Heaven
21st July
London - Celebrity Frat House
7th July
Out of the Galleries into the Streets
23rd June
Mayors, Nightmares and Marias
16th June
Downright Rude in Paris and London
9th June
Enter the Inferno
26th May
Curvaceous Border
12th May
Vegging Out
21st April
The Camden Crawl
17th April
Down the Pan
13th April
I Want to Break Free
9th April
Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere
7th April
Don't Box Me In
24th March
Political Correctness Reaches New Heights
24th February
A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West
17th February
Modern Musicals are Rubbish
10th February
The City-Side Alliance
20th January
February Sales
20th January
Moby Sick
13th January
Glass Half Full
3rd January
Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers
2005
22nd December
January Bites
16th December
A Remarkable Year
25th November
And a Partridge in a JCB
11th November
Driving Miss Sadie
4th November
Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin
28th October
Trick or Treat?
21st October
We Don't Mind a Little Delay...
14th October
Final Resting Place for Young British Artists
16th September
Just a small urn for me, please barman
9th September
DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!
2nd September
The Free Tenor
30th August
Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium
20th August
Getting Behind the Iron Farce
10th August
Mystery Play is No Sell Out
29th July
Moving On From 7/7
22nd July
Get loaded in the park
15th July
Victoire!!
24th June
New Balls, Please
17th June
The End of an Unsightly Era
10th June
The Hooded Law
31st May
Widespread Diso-’Beeb’-ience
20th May
Pass the Pepper Spray
20th May
Black Theatre Breakthrough
27th April
Five More Years
20th April
Dancing with Idiots
12th April
A Youthful Look at the Theatre
30th March
Musical Communion
23rd March
Big Guns Back in Town
10th March
Celebs in the City
28th February
There's no business like showbusiness!
22nd February
Ken You Believe It?
10th February
Make Poverty History
28th January
Loving It!
21st January
The Great West End Ticketing Scandal
14th January
The Triumph of the Ordinary
2004
30th December
Party Pooper
23rd December
The Second Battle of Trafalgar
16th December
Sadie's Year
28th November
Ripper-Watch
21st November
Kinky Boots
14th November
Smoked out
22nd October
Yuppie Meal
15th October
Fines of Fury
8th October
No Twist in the Turner
17th September
Battleships, bloodsports and Batman
10th September
Clique Week
3rd September
Return of the Bard
20th August
Politics Takes Centre Stage
13th August
Crisis in Theatreland
6th August
Journey's End
23rd July
Healing Waters
16th July
Mandela Statue in Doubt
9th July
From Art to Ashes
2nd July
One Hurdle Nearer to Gold
 
Link to Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere
To link to this page from your website use this code.
 
 
The link will appear on your page as:
 
Home | Contact us | Terms & Conditions | Link to us | Marketing | Partners | Subscriptions
Sponsor
Our favourite London hotels
May Fair Hotel
Luxury Hotels
 
In Trafalgar Square
20% off
 
At Liverpool Street
50% off
 
At Green Park
35% off
 
Near Covent Garden
30% off
 
Cavendish Hotel
Mid-range Hotels
 
Near Parliament
35% off
 
Near National Gallery
47% off
 
Near Tower Bridge
35% off
 
In Little Venice
40% off
 
Discounted theatre tickets
Chicago
57% off
 
29% off
 
42% off
 
56% off
 
47% off
 
38% off
 
Diner & Theatre Deals
Oliver
from £24.50
 
from £29.00
 
from £32.50
 
from £42.50
 
from £45.00
 
from £27.50
 
London Sightseeing
London Eye
10% off
 
10% off
 
10% off
 
from £8.50
 
from £25.00
 
10% off
 
LondonTown.com has special discounts every week. The amount of discount will vary depending on the dates you are coming and how far in advance you book. All discounts are subject to availability.
Recently viewed Favourites
Recently viewed