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August
Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 25th August 2006
An influx of under-18s on the buses may not be to everyone's advantage
Now, it’s not so long since I was a teenager that I’ve forgotten the pleasures and terrors of travelling by bus at that age. The joy of lounging with your cool friends at the back, gossiping with the girls, flirting with the boys, and making it clear to the grown-ups that you were younger, more attractive and way more fun. Or the terrible fear when you realised that getting to a seat meant going past those tough girls from the school down the road, and then apparently forgetting how to walk, stumbling your way past, and being jeered all the way to your seat. Bus travel is an essential, thrilling part of teenage life in the big city.

But Mayor Ken’s plan to make bus travel free for all under-18s strikes me as very dangerous indeed. I don’t mean to come across all Mary Whitehouse on you, but the last thing we need is for children and teenagers to become more mobile.

The average pre-teen appears to have their finger on the pulse of fashion in a way that I never achieved at any stage in my life. Discreet designer labels, vintage classics, witty riffs on the tropes of MTV fashion, asymmetrical this, customised that... It’s terribly depressing for a girl with a substantial income and an interest in looking good to find herself taking style tips from people less than half her age.

And when these kids can hop on any old bus without paying a penny, imagine the vista that will open up beyond their local high streets: Mayfair, Floral Street, Seven Dials, Portobello Road. By the time they hit fourteen, they’ll be lounging around with the gorgeous metrosexual staff in every boutique, laughing at us oldies and our pathetic clothes.

Our only hope is that free transport will finally make them give up on using their feet to get anywhere: when the child obesity epidemic kicks in, it should do so with a vengeance and there’s only so much that clothes can do for you if you’ve spent all that bus money on Mars Bars and Smirnoff Ice.

This autumn’s colour is red, and horizontal stripes are still going strong. I’d like to see a three hundred pound twelve-year-old look good in that outfit.
Freesheet Flurry
A new free London newspaper is now circulating in the capital and a further rival freesheet is due to begin circulation next week. Media giant Associated Newspapers has launched its free paper London Lite, signalling the start of its freesheet battle with rival News International. Their new title will be called Thelondonpaper and like London Lite will have a print run of about 400,000 copies. The two new afternoon newspapers will be targeted at younger commuters who get much of their news from websites and do not expect to pay for a newspaper. It will bring the total of London’s freesheets to four – the Metro and City AM are already distributed in the morning.
Flame Academy
The Royal Academy of Art came under threat when a next door building caught fire. Despite the effort of over 60 firefighters, the roof of one of the prestigious establishment's buildings was severely damaged. A fire brigade spokesman said 30% of the roof had been completely destroyed by the fire, but thankfully no artworks were damaged in the blaze. The Saatchi gallery had been preparing a major exhibition on American Art in the damaged building due to open on 6 October. The date will now be postponed. Following the Momart Warehouse fire in 2004, it seems Saatchi has yet again been affected by fire.
Soca Shocker!
More than 800,000 people partied in the streets of West London during the 42nd Notting Carnival on Bank Holiday Weekend. 50,000 carnival performers and 84 floats transformed the local neighbourhood into a colourful Caribbean spectacle. A happy mix of traditional steelband Soca music and hip hop beats rang out from over 41 static sound systems along the three-mile parade route. This year in the wake of London’s successful 2012 Olympic bid, the carnival theme was “unity”.
2009
2008
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January is on the Horizon
20th December
Merry Christmas
26th November
All The World's A Stage
20th November
Surviving the Crunch
24th October
Boris v Jingjing
17th October
Soaps in Pole Position
23rd September
Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea
16th September
The London Restaurant Awards
26th August
No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues
20th August
The Olympics
24th July
Sandwiched Out
17th July
The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3
26th June
Love All at Wimbledon
16th June
Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant
27th May
Booze Banned on Buses
20th May
Same Again?
23rd April
By George
11th April
Back to the 80s
28th March
How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea?
20th March
Flight Fantastic
20th February
Dark, Satanic Turnmills
6th February
A Diamond in the Drink
21st January
People Wanted for Plinth
14th January
Boo! Hiss!
2007
28th December
Tate That - A Hirst for Art
20th December
Christmas Shopping
27th November
Mind the Gap
26th November
London On A Tray
26th October
Leaving the Station
14th October
The Sky's the Limit
26th September
The Play Within A Play
19th September
Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks
12th September
Saying Tanks for the Mammaries
24th August
Heathrow under Siege
17th August
Gormless
10th August
Losing Face
24th July
Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer?
13th July
Red Ken versus Blonde Boris
22nd June
Last Orders at the Fag Machine
11th June
London the Musical
21st May
What Lurks Beneath
10th May
The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of
27th April
London’s Walk on the Wild Side
20th April
Stand Behind the Yellow Line
13th April
Like Water for Chocolate
23rd March
So, Another Magazine
16th March
Avoiding iContact
23rd February
Sex and Art...
16th February
C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government
9th February
Live Earth London
26th January
A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain
18th January
Carriage on up the West End
2006
29th December
Food for Thought
22nd December
A Poisonous Marketing Campaign
15th December
In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds
17th November
Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold
10th November
Failing to Save the World
27th October
Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps
20th October
Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk
13th October
Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street
16th September
Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back
9th September
Of Poles and Twiglets
25th August
Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable
11th August
London Friendly
4th August
Archway To Organic Heaven
21st July
London - Celebrity Frat House
7th July
Out of the Galleries into the Streets
23rd June
Mayors, Nightmares and Marias
16th June
Downright Rude in Paris and London
9th June
Enter the Inferno
26th May
Curvaceous Border
12th May
Vegging Out
21st April
The Camden Crawl
17th April
Down the Pan
13th April
I Want to Break Free
9th April
Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere
7th April
Don't Box Me In
24th March
Political Correctness Reaches New Heights
24th February
A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West
17th February
Modern Musicals are Rubbish
10th February
The City-Side Alliance
20th January
February Sales
20th January
Moby Sick
13th January
Glass Half Full
3rd January
Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers
2005
22nd December
January Bites
16th December
A Remarkable Year
25th November
And a Partridge in a JCB
11th November
Driving Miss Sadie
4th November
Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin
28th October
Trick or Treat?
21st October
We Don't Mind a Little Delay...
14th October
Final Resting Place for Young British Artists
16th September
Just a small urn for me, please barman
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DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!
2nd September
The Free Tenor
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Samba Rhythms Breaking Out All Over The Stadium
20th August
Getting Behind the Iron Farce
10th August
Mystery Play is No Sell Out
29th July
Moving On From 7/7
22nd July
Get loaded in the park
15th July
Victoire!!
24th June
New Balls, Please
17th June
The End of an Unsightly Era
10th June
The Hooded Law
31st May
Widespread Diso-’Beeb’-ience
20th May
Pass the Pepper Spray
20th May
Black Theatre Breakthrough
27th April
Five More Years
20th April
Dancing with Idiots
12th April
A Youthful Look at the Theatre
30th March
Musical Communion
23rd March
Big Guns Back in Town
10th March
Celebs in the City
28th February
There's no business like showbusiness!
22nd February
Ken You Believe It?
10th February
Make Poverty History
28th January
Loving It!
21st January
The Great West End Ticketing Scandal
14th January
The Triumph of the Ordinary
2004
30th December
Party Pooper
23rd December
The Second Battle of Trafalgar
16th December
Sadie's Year
28th November
Ripper-Watch
21st November
Kinky Boots
14th November
Smoked out
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Yuppie Meal
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No Twist in the Turner
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Battleships, bloodsports and Batman
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Clique Week
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Return of the Bard
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Politics Takes Centre Stage
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Crisis in Theatreland
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Journey's End
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Healing Waters
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Mandela Statue in Doubt
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From Art to Ashes
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One Hurdle Nearer to Gold
 
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