- Home
-
Nelson's Column
-
Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back
Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back
16th September 2006
War breaks out in the world of London freesheets
Over the past few weeks it hasn’t only been fellow rushing commuters you have to dodge entering a tube station, but a mushrooming purple cloud of newspaper distributors too.
You can't have missed London Lite and thelondonpaper. Released only a week apart from one another, these two new afternoon free sheets are now an inevitable part of the day. Whilst morning equivalent Metro sits unassumingly in its stand at the tube station, legions of media foot soldiers forcibly thrust these new publications on you. With Associated Newspapers and News International behind them don’t expect this turf war to abate till Transport for London decides who will gain the exclusive rights to join Metro underground.
Both papers are hard to tell apart in terms of content – short, digestible news with handy maps, figures, sound-bites and fact boxes, a sizeable dose of celebrity gossip, topped off with an extensive ‘What’s on?’ section. Design-wise London Lite’s lagging way behind though, aping the tired format of sister paper Metro. On the opposite page, thelondonpaper’s wholesale rip-off of the Guardian’s Berliner format is as brazen as it is effective.
But what does it mean for us Londoners? Well most obviously, rubbish. By early evening tube carriages are strewn with unread papers, half read papers and a scattering of loose sheets. On the plus side you’re unlikely ever to be without reading material on board a tube again. No more staring into space (or armpit) as tunnel walls rush by, but sadly - if it is indeed possible - even lower levels of chat, as people lock into the world of newsprint.
My major gripe though is with myself. With all these free papers floating around I’ve found myself re-reading the same nothing stories twice a day, morning and evening. As a student I used to congratulate myself for watching Neighbours two times in 24 hours, but reading about Jessie Wallace’s new toy-boy over and over doesn’t have quite the same sheen. Help me stop please.
I always carry a novel to read. However, the empty, unchallenging news and gossip - which used to be confined to early stolen mornings with Metro - is now literally thrust upon me every afternoon as well. I know it’s no good for me, I read it eight hours ago but I can’t stop myself. Like the 20-stone slacker who orders pizza every night – it’s just too easy. I need help.
‘Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl’ has been burning a hole in my handbag for the whole month – with all these effortless, disposable, free newspapers how am I ever going to get past chapter three?
Madame 2sauds
On the 10th anniversary of his death, a waxwork of hip hop artist Tupac Shakur has made its way across the ocean from Las Vegas to its new temporary home in London’s Madame Tussaud’s. Graffiti, loud speakers, tattoos and shattered glass will be used to create a suitable setting for the iconic, if controversial musical figure.
Seventh Day Dramatists
London’s West End is set to see the start of Sunday performances within a year. As the National Theatre announces its intention to open on the traditional “day of rest” most commercial theatres are expected to follow suit. While most of the capital’s major attractions are open on a Sunday, the city’s ever-popular Theatreland currently comes to a grinding halt halfway through the weekend.
London's Young Speaking in Tongues
Southfields Community College in Wandsworth claims to be the most multi-lingual in Europe. From Punjabi to Polish, Thai to Turkish, students at the school speak an amazing 71 languages between them. In addition to this 550 of the college’s 1300 pupils are bilingual.
2011
| 5th April | Royal Wedding fever strikes London |
| 23rd February | London's deep pockets |
| 17th February | Let the London Games begin |
| 29th January | Olympic no-brainer |
2010
| 23rd December | Snow causes London meltdown |
| 28th November | London's Big Bang for 2011 |
| 21st October | I predict a riot |
| 26th August | The Maddening Rain |
| 26th July | Holmes sweet Holmes |
| 23rd June | Sun shines on London |
| 23rd June | Loving London's Pub Theatres |
| 27th May | The Cameron-Clegg Civil Ceremony |
| 25th May | Budgy Smuggling |
| 27th April | No Fly Zone |
| 26th April | Mi casa es su casa - and Tesco's |
| 29th March | No Third Runway |
| 19th March | It's not a Library |
| 24th February | Bully Tactics at No. 10 |
| 22nd February | Whine connoisseur |
| 26th January | Carbuncle City |
| 20th January | A Laugh a Day... |
| 3rd January | Stalking in Richmond |
2009
| 29th December | Predictions for 2010 |
| 30th November | London 1 Paris 0 |
| 27th November | Mr Benn, The Wombles |
| 26th October | Posties Strike a Chord |
| 26th October | Frieze Still Pleases |
| 26th September | A River Runs Through It |
| 23rd September | Blogging is Best |
| 26th August | When Saturday comes |
| 22nd August | Bring on the Bikes |
| 27th July | Against the Clock |
| 20th July | View for a thrill |
| 18th June | Let Them Eat Cake |
| 16th June | Only Fools And Horses? |
| 26th May | Come Rain Or Shine |
| 18th May | Embarrassing Expenses |
| 27th April | New Designs on Old Fossils |
| 19th April | City Slickers |
| 26th March | Woody Set for Rematch |
| 10th March | Take a Bow, London |
| 18th February | New Photography Laws |
| 12th February | Glitz and the Pitts |
| 27th January | Setting the Standard |
| 21st January | Too Much for Posh Nosh? |
2008
| 23rd December | January is on the Horizon |
| 20th December | Merry Christmas |
| 26th November | All The World's A Stage |
| 20th November | Surviving the Crunch |
| 24th October | Boris v Jingjing |
| 17th October | Soaps in Pole Position |
| 23rd September | Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea |
| 16th September | The London Restaurant Awards |
| 26th August | No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues |
| 20th August | The Olympics |
| 24th July | Sandwiched Out |
| 17th July | The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 |
| 26th June | Love All at Wimbledon |
| 16th June | Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant |
| 27th May | Booze Banned on Buses |
| 20th May | Same Again? |
| 23rd April | By George |
| 11th April | Back to the 80s |
| 28th March | How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? |
| 20th March | Flight Fantastic |
| 20th February | Dark, Satanic Turnmills |
| 6th February | A Diamond in the Drink |
| 21st January | People Wanted for Plinth |
| 14th January | Boo! Hiss! |
2007
2006
2005
2004
| 30th December | Party Pooper |
| 23rd December | The Second Battle of Trafalgar |
| 16th December | Sadie's Year |
| 28th November | Ripper-Watch |
| 21st November | Kinky Boots |
| 14th November | Smoked out |
| 22nd October | Yuppie Meal |
| 15th October | Fines of Fury |
| 8th October | No Twist in the Turner |
| 17th September | Battleships, bloodsports and Batman |
| 10th September | Clique Week |
| 3rd September | Return of the Bard |
| 20th August | Politics Takes Centre Stage |
| 13th August | Crisis in Theatreland |
| 6th August | Journey's End |
| 23rd July | Healing Waters |
| 16th July | Mandela Statue in Doubt |
| 9th July | From Art to Ashes |
| 2nd July | One Hurdle Nearer to Gold |
|








