Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back

War breaks out in the world of London freesheets

Over the past few weeks it hasn’t only been fellow rushing commuters you have to dodge entering a tube station, but a mushrooming purple cloud of newspaper distributors too.

You can't have missed London Lite and thelondonpaper. Released only a week apart from one another, these two new afternoon free sheets are now an inevitable part of the day. Whilst morning equivalent Metro sits unassumingly in its stand at the tube station, legions of media foot soldiers forcibly thrust these new publications on you. With Associated Newspapers and News International behind them don’t expect this turf war to abate till Transport for London decides who will gain the exclusive rights to join Metro underground.

Both papers are hard to tell apart in terms of content – short, digestible news with handy maps, figures, sound-bites and fact boxes, a sizeable dose of celebrity gossip, topped off with an extensive ‘What’s on?’ section. Design-wise London Lite’s lagging way behind though, aping the tired format of sister paper Metro. On the opposite page, thelondonpaper’s wholesale rip-off of the Guardian’s Berliner format is as brazen as it is effective.

But what does it mean for us Londoners? Well most obviously, rubbish. By early evening tube carriages are strewn with unread papers, half read papers and a scattering of loose sheets. On the plus side you’re unlikely ever to be without reading material on board a tube again. No more staring into space (or armpit) as tunnel walls rush by, but sadly - if it is indeed possible - even lower levels of chat, as people lock into the world of newsprint.

My major gripe though is with myself. With all these free papers floating around I’ve found myself re-reading the same nothing stories twice a day, morning and evening. As a student I used to congratulate myself for watching Neighbours two times in 24 hours, but reading about Jessie Wallace’s new toy-boy over and over doesn’t have quite the same sheen. Help me stop please.

I always carry a novel to read. However, the empty, unchallenging news and gossip - which used to be confined to early stolen mornings with Metro - is now literally thrust upon me every afternoon as well. I know it’s no good for me, I read it eight hours ago but I can’t stop myself. Like the 20-stone slacker who orders pizza every night – it’s just too easy. I need help.

‘Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl’ has been burning a hole in my handbag for the whole month – with all these effortless, disposable, free newspapers how am I ever going to get past chapter three?

Madame 2sauds

On the 10th anniversary of his death, a waxwork of hip hop artist Tupac Shakur has made its way across the ocean from Las Vegas to its new temporary home in London’s Madame Tussaud’s. Graffiti, loud speakers, tattoos and shattered glass will be used to create a suitable setting for the iconic, if controversial musical figure.

Seventh Day Dramatists

London’s West End is set to see the start of Sunday performances within a year. As the National Theatre announces its intention to open on the traditional “day of rest” most commercial theatres are expected to follow suit. While most of the capital’s major attractions are open on a Sunday, the city’s ever-popular Theatreland currently comes to a grinding halt halfway through the weekend.

London's Young Speaking in Tongues

Southfields Community College in Wandsworth claims to be the most multi-lingual in Europe. From Punjabi to Polish, Thai to Turkish, students at the school speak an amazing 71 languages between them. In addition to this 550 of the college’s 1300 pupils are bilingual.

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