Failing to Save the World

Blackout lacks the X-Factor

This popped into my inbox 9 times on Friday morning, sent by various helpful friends.

“You are invited to take part in the largest demonstration of People
Power that London has ever seen on Saturday 4th November 2006,by
turning off all your lights, and switching off all your non-essential
electrical equipment at Sunset.”

And at first it seemed a magical idea. Especially for fireworks night. Imagine, darkened windows looking onto streets full of cheerful red-cheeked families, the whiff of gunpowder in the air, and the televisions and radios silent, so that the only sound is bangs, the laughter of children, and the occasional traditional bonfire-night mugging. And we’d all be doing the environment a favour while we were at it.

But then I realised a little problem with that key word ‘non-essential’. I’m going to a very exclusive fireworks party this year, held by a friend whose garden backs onto Ravenscourt Park, so we can watch the fireworks while nattering to the Notting Hill glitterati she hangs out with.

So, I‘m supposed to be switching off my non-essentials at 4.30, but at just that time, I shall be approximately halfway through the preening process necessary for a party which begins at 7 o’clock, and which it’s just possible Colin Firth will turn up at.

Under these circumstances, I’m afraid that essential items included lights, hot water, hair-dryer, GHD’s, eyelash-curlers, Radio 4 (in case he asked me about current affairs, and I needed a quickfire quip about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on the tip of my tongue. Or at least to be able to remember his name without copy-pasting from google), but most importantly there is no way I can turn up at a sophisticated society party without having watched exactly as much of X-Factor as all the other guests. It’s social death in London this year if you can’t be exactly ironic enough about the McDonald brothers.

It’s all a bit of a shame, really, because I think the blackout is essentially an excellent idea. They just need to plan a bit more carefully next time and have it during some tacky non-event like Celebrity Love Island.

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