The Free Tenor

The Freedom of the City of London has been given to Luciano Pavarotti

I am delighted to hear that Italian operatic giant Luciano Pavarotti has been awarded the Freedom of the City of London. Whoopee. He must be delirious. According to ancient legend, not only does being a Freeman entitle him to drive sheep and cattle over London Bridge (even at rush hour), frolic about the City with a drawn sword and avoid being press-ganged, he can get married in St Paul's Cathedral, get buried in the City, and get drunk and disorderly in public without spending the night in a cell. In fact, if he’s caught in a state of raucous inebriation by the coppers, he will be carefully inserted into a cab and driven gently home.

Such benefits are not to be taken lightly. Luciano is clearly not just a man with a fine pair of vocal chords and a nice beard - he’s also got an eye for an opportunity because, as far as I see it, he can now...

STEP 1. Find the woman of his dreams.
STEP 2. Ward off any other potential suitors by frolicking around London with a menacing-looking sword.
STEP 3. Indulge in a full-on drunk and disorderly stag night without fear of arrest.
STEP 4. Get hitched in St Paul’s and never have to worry about guest numbers.
STEP 5. Avoid the whole “going to war” thing and thus live a long and fruitful existence, at the end of which he can…
STEP 6. Rest peacefully beneath the city that allowed him his freedom.

(I’m not sure where the whole sheep and cattle thing fits in but, I guess, it means he’ll never go hungry, which is important for an Italian).

Always on the lookout for a way to make my life in London run a tad more smoothly, I decide to research this whole “Freedom of the City” thing a bit more thoroughly (i.e. I spend 10 minutes on the internet quickly finding out about it, while simultaneously trying to book a flight to Dublin for a friend’s wedding).

Q. My first concern – I am a girl, can I be a Freeman?
A. Apparently, I can. Phew. (Well, technically it’s a Free Sister, but who’s complaining?)
Q. Second concern – I’m not famous, talented, an opera singer or Italian. Help!
A. Again, no problem – apparently candidates of any nationality, profession and little obvious talent are considered.
Q. So far so good. Right… how do I apply?
A. I pick up a form (check) and find myself two sponsors from the following bunch of respectable chaps - Common Councilmen (?), Aldermen (??) or members of a Livery Company (???). Hmmmm - tricky. I’m a bit short on Aldermen acquaintances and I’m not exactly sure what a Livery Company is. Anyway, where there’s a will…
Q. And then?
A. I make an “application visit” to the Chamberlain’s Court where I pay a Freedom Fee - otherwise known as a “fine”.

Hang on. I go to COURT. And pay a FINE? Surely, this is wrong. I haven’t done anything illegal… yet.

I suddenly begin to lose interest (and besides, Dublin is beckoning). Did they really make Luciano - one of the formidable Three Tenors - go to court and pay a fine? And what’s this about having to swear an oath upholding a load of 'Rules for the Conduct of Life'?

My enthusiasm finally wanes when I discover that the ancient privileges are no longer upheld and the only real contemporary benefit is being able to send your offspring to a swanky school in the City – definitely not the same as driving herds of Milking Shorthorns across London Bridge. (Now, sending your cattle to a swanky school in the City would be worth going to court and paying a fine for…)

After an enthusiastic start, I decide to give up and instead pay full attention to booking my long weekend in Dublin. Just before I do, though, the section entitled ‘Freedom of the City - Around the World’ catches my eye...

I scroll down. Apparently, if I’m awarded the freedom of the city of Dublin, I can vote in certain elections, bring goods for sale into the city without customs and exercise the right to pasture sheep on common ground - seems a much better deal. Now, where can I find an Irish Alderman?

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