A Remarkable Year

The Ashes, Live8, July 7th and the Olympics mean that nobody will ever forget 2005

Happy Friday everyone, and welcome to three weeks of sleep deprivation and alcohol poisoning. From now until 2006, there’s no staying in, so I thought I’d go a little early with my review of the year, since by the end of this month I’m going to have forgotten the lot.

January
Kim Cattrall, Patrick Stewart and Joshua Jackson lead a Hollywood invasion of the West End that will continue all year. The astonishing production of Don Carlos at the Gielgud Theatre becomes one of my favourite things ever.

February

Victoria Wood, Neil Morrissey, Julie Walters and Celia Imrie camp it up in Acorn Antiques. I meet Graham Norton at the aftershow party. ‘The Triumph of Painting’ suggests that Saatchi is losing his touch, and that his new South Bank gallery has blunted his edge.

March

Mayor Ken has a hilarious drunken argument with a Daily Mail reporter. 10,000 Londoners meet in Trafalgar Square to hear Nelson Mandela calling for the end of poverty, in an event I thought was way cooler than Live 8 (OK, I’m just bitter because I didn’t get a ticket).

April

Prince Charles does what he should have done 20 years ago, and marries somebody he actually likes. The Burlesque craze sweeps across London in a riot of nipple-tassles and terrible puns, before sinking without trace as everyone realises what an embarrassment the whole thing is.

May

I go to a fabulous General Election party, which more than makes up for the shocking dullness of the event itself. The English National Ballet almost folds under the sheer weight of its own incompetence. I fall in love with Ewan McGregor all over again, after seeing him in Guys and Dolls.

June

The Nation decides its favourite ‘Picture of Britain’ in Tate Modern’s magical exhibition. Sienna Miller makes her first appearance on the West End stage, to mixed reviews. The Glastonbury Festival floats gently downstream.

July

Glenn Mcgrath arrives in England declaring that the Aussies are going to win the Ashes. Live8 gets 250,000 people to simultameously call for an end to poverty. London beats Paris in the race to host the Olympic games… and then everything changes. Nearly two decades after Canary wharf, terrorism returns to London. Londoners react with their usual mixture of good humoured moaning and quiet optimism – rival websites www.wearenotafraid.com and www.wearefuckingterrified.com reflect the general mood.

August

A fabulous month to be outside in London. Performance in Trafalagar Square, theatre on the South Bank, music in every green space in the city, and the best Notting Hill Carnival in living memory. The London Bubble open air theatre company (wonderful, by the way) accidentally lock everyone into Waterlow Park on their press night.

September

Behind the Iron Mask’s two-week run has critics suggesting it might be the worst musical ever to appear on The West End stage. England reclaim the Ashes from Australia, and Freddie, KP, Tresco and the rest follow an entire nights drinking do with an open-top bus journey round London.

October

Once again, the Frieze Art Fair is the social event of the year, as well as a great show. The crowds at the National Gallery's blockbuster Rubens exhibition nearly give me a nervous breakdown. Halloween is bigger than ever, with American-style costumes and parties breaking out all over the capital.

November

Shows without words are all the rage, as Edward Scissorhands and The Blue Man Group become the two most exciting things on the London stage. The fabulous Henri Rousseau exhibition (still open, you must go) brings jungles to the Tate. 24-hour drinking comes to London, but mysteriously we don’t all become violent alcoholics.

December

Well, we’re two weeks in, and I’ve been having a quiet time. I’m excited about the Unicorn, London’s first children’s theatre; I’m going to spend New Year’s Eve at the incredibly trendy Rockwell Gallery; and I’d like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas.

It really has been an extraordinary year in this great city of ours.

The GrogFather

Christmas came early for drinkers at the Windsor Castle pub in Notting Hill this year, when film icon Robert De Niro popped in for a quick half. In a celebratory mood after filming ‘The Good Shepherd’, the Hollwood legend treated the locals to £5000 of booze. Cheers!

Romancing the Bone

Hayley, a dog from Chigwell, won one of London’s most prestigious canine competitions this month. The crossbreed and Barbara Cartland look-alike won the Dog Most Like a Celebrity (bitch class) in the Companion Dog Club Competition at the Discover Dogs show, Earl’s Court.

Living on Buried Time

The pitch at London's new Wembley Stadium will hide a secret time-travelling message. A time capsule containing a signed England football shirt, 2012 Olympic bid memorabilia and part of the old stadium's twin towers has been buried under the famous turf.

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