Like Water for Chocolate

Why chocolate is better than sex

It’s so obviously a shameless publicity stunt but there’s something about a chocolate billboard that appeals to the greedy kid in me. Like a real life Hansel and Gretel cottage, you could actually eat every part of the solid chocolate advertisement erected in Covent Garden. And yes, it was an opportunistic and commercial way to mark the choc-fest of Easter. But I can graciously overlook the crassness of this blatant money-making scheme, if only because I can’t resist the sweet, dark stuff. It also reminds me of that immeasurable childhood pleasure of licking the spoon and mixing bowl clean after a cake-making session. Yum. And if that wasn’t enough the latest studies tell us that chocolate is way more fun than a passionate snog.

I just love it when the latest scientific survey gives me carte blanche to indulge my chocolate cravings (and happily ignore the ones that say the opposite). This study involved a group of twenty-something college students (so that’s what the tuition fees are for) wired up with condom-style hats designed to measure their pleasure. Heart rates fluttered at twice the speed produced by a smooch when the chocolate reached melting point and the effects lasted longer than any romantic clinch.

The results astounded the scientists - though anyone who’s read Joan Sewell’s frank sex book ‘I’d Rather Eat Chocolate’ wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. Seeing as Sewell would rather do anything than have sex perhaps we shouldn’t take hers as the final word. But to prove the point there are numerous literary references that argue chocolate is better than sex on a stick… ‘Like Water for Chocolate’ as any Spaniard knows is not only a best-selling book and the highest grossing foreign film of all time but also a metaphor for passion. Then there’s ‘Chocolat’, another foreign film fusing chocolate and underlying sexual tension… you get the drift.

I for one was reassured to hear that this latest study wasn’t skewed by any restrained kind of snogging. In a not very scientific observation during the scientific trial, one of Cadbury’s people noted, ‘You'd think people would be shy about kissing in a laboratory, but that wasn't the case at all’. Whatever happened to the good old British sense of reserve? Clearly the floppy haired, stiff upper lipped English gent is not a graduate of Middlesex University.

The presence of a Cadbury’s rep answers my next question: ‘but why do we need to do a scientific experiment to tell us this kind of thing?’, especially when there are bigger scientific questions that need answering like, ‘what are the right type of leaves’ or ‘what’ll make the lights go on in 2040?’ So when we’re sitting there in the dark in 30 years’ time we can blame good old Cadbury’s for side-tracking the scientists in an attempt to make us eat more chocolate. As if the obesity problem wasn’t enough to keep the men in lab coats busy.

A Flash in the Pan

A toilet that's also a piece of art has arrived in Soho so that children and community groups can admire a 'reliquy' (no idea) of donated items while they pee. It was hailed as a 'bespoke loo' as it was craned into St Anne's Green but, frankly, what does it DO that other loos don't apart from cost a whopping £52,000?

From Cocktails to Culture

Who would have thought that a wild London party in 1950 would have produced Pablo Picasso's only mural to be created in England? The artwork has fallen for a princely sum of £250,000 into the hands of the Wellcome Trust, a medical research charity. Originally drawn on the wall of his friend’s sitting room, Bernal's Picasso will take pride of place in Wellcome Collection, 183 Euston Road from 21st June 2007.

On the Lookout

Forget bobbies on the beat, Westminster City Council is bringing back traditional park keepers to combat petty crime and anti-social behaviour. Your friendly "parkies" on patrol are making a comeback, fully kitted out in yellow "pilot" shirt and black trousers, and will be out and about in 54 parks including Victoria Embankment Gardens, Paddington Recreation Ground and St George's Square.

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