The Second Battle of Trafalgar

It never quite goes to plan during the festive season, does it? I took my holidays before Christmas this year, planning to get my shopping done in one calm midday expedition, avoiding the horror of the frantic post-work presents dash. However, my swift cup of coffee with an old friend turned into a long lunch, then I got dragged into Poste Mistress by an irresistible pair of shoes and I finally reached Covent Garden at half-past five. I was just gearing myself up for some serious purchasing, when who should appear but the two strange Australian anarchists who did computer support at one of my former jobs.

Even by their usual standards, they were behaving very mysteriously. In keeping with the season, each of them had a bulging sack over his shoulder, which they refused to explain. “Come and see”, they said, “It’s starting at nine minutes past six”. This was too mysterious to pass up. I followed them.

‘Twas five days before Christmas and Trafalgar Square was looking its best, with the towering Norwegian Christmas Tree silhouetted against evening gloom, its lights reflecting the first stars. A choir stood beneath Nelson’s Column, clear voices lifting Christmas carols across the city

The crowd in front of the National Gallery was already well over a hundred strong and more were arriving all the time, on their own or in huge groups, in suits or jeans with trendy haircuts or filthy dreadlocks, each carrying a sack or a bag. I was in the middle of the crowd of around 300 when the appointed hour arrived and bedlam broke loose. The bags were discarded and with a great roar, everyone pulled out a pillow and used it to attck anyone near them.

I dragged myself to the edge of the melee and it was truly among the most extraordinary things I’ve seen in my life. A great rolling sea of people and pillows, everyone grinning furiously and swinging their weapons for all they were worth. As the pillows burst, the air became thick with feathers: it was white Christmas in London the way a Hollywood film would show it (apart, of course, from the giant pillow fight staggering across the square).

How do people find out about these events? No idea. Who organises them? Could be anyone. Could such a fun, meaningless, beautiful activity take place anywhere in the world except London? I don’t think so. A very Merry Christmas to all of you. Now I’ve just got to nip out and buy those presents…

Dicky back curse strikes Producers again

Nathan Lane, the original star of The Producer who stepped into the West End show when Richard Dreyfus dropped out, has injured his back. He has been forced to step down from the lead role of the award winning musical but will still appear in the movie version when it goes into production in early 2005. His replacement is yet to be named.

Another great Hall for London's Theatreland

Sir Peter Hall, founder of the RSC, has established a new theatre on the South Bank in Kingston. He intends it to be a cross between the ancient and modern. The structure and stage is based on the Rose theatre, where some of Shakespeare’s earliest plays were performed, while the seats will be taken from something more modern. It will be used for repertory plays, performed by professional actors and second year acting post-graduates from Kingston University, where Peter Hall teaches acting.

Controversial return planned for Dishonour

The Royal Court Theatre, renowned for staging controversial and avant garde theatre, might be staging Dishonour, the play that was hounded out from Birmingham by outraged Sikhs. The play, which depicts sexual abuse in a Sikh Temple, was cancelled after riots led to the injury of three police officers. Ramin Gray, associate director of the Royal Court Theatre, said "We cannot allow this to be simply shunted aside and forgotten about…”

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