City Slickers

Touring the Square Mile (and its stinky loos) with the City of London Corporation

On the last day of March, just as the City was bracing itself for the now infamous G20 Summit, members of the LondonTown editorial team were invited along with various other journalists to visit some of the Square Mile's major sites by the City of London Corporation.

It was a glorious spring day, rather chilly, but with blue skies and a hot sun pre-empting the fine April weather that was around the corner. First up, we visited The Guildhall, the town hall of the City, for a session with the affable City Planning Officer Peter Rees.

Speaking over an impressive model of the City (unfortunately closed to the public) in a conference room next to the old Roman amphitheatre discovered underneath the Guildhall in the 90s, Mr Rees talked of the changing face of the Square Mile (actually, it's about 1.16 square miles) and how the City's architecture stood out for its individuality.

Quite rightly, he reminded us how the City is becoming as much a tourist destination as a centre for business, much of this due to the dramatic new buildings standing tall and glistening alongside centuries-old churches (did you know, there are 113 parishes in the City?) and the influx of retail and nightlife attractions in the area.

While Mr Rees's claim that there are more people partying in the City at 3am on weekends than in Soho might well have been a tad over-exaggerated (even for the self-confessed "oldest swinger in town") we did like his assertion that: "An unemployed banker does not stay jobless for long - he finds a new financial activity or moves on to another crime."

Swiftly on to the Guildhall Library, home to some ancient tomes (including bound FT-style stock, share and gold prices from 1698 and a property deed signed by some bard called Shakespeare) and the world's biggest collection of maps and designs. With no membership fee charged, anyone in the public can walk in off the street and see 99.9% of the collection, making the library a popular place to research family histories.

Before leaving the building we were urged to visit the loos. "They must be really good," someone quipped. "They're really not. In fact, they're quite smelly," came the answer from our guide. That in mind, opted to press on straight to our next destination: The Barbican. Although a short walk away, we where whisked off in a couple of taxis for the short £4.80 trip.

One of the main focuses of the City of London Corporation - besides helping running the world's leading international finance and business centre - is to provide a whole host of other services to tourists and Londoners alike. The Barbican, 55% funded by the Corporation, provides an essential artistic outlet for the area, successfully combining internationalism, local identity and interactive education under one roof with the universal message: "Do something different".

Over a lunch of M&S wraps, sandwiches and chocolate bites, crisps and orange squash - consumed off paper plates in a rather dingy, windowless office that befitted the archaic futurism of the building - we hobnobbed with the Barbican artistic director, Graham Sheffield.

Mr Sheffield, who joined the Barbican in 1995 from its "major competitor" the Southbank Centre, impressed with an attentive, informative chat about what he described as a "brilliantly vibrant and diverse, but for many confusing" arts centre, which takes risks because its role is to "lead public taste, not follow it like the West End".

"We're essentially replicating a three-week Edinburgh Festival throughout the year - a thoughtful tapestry of cross-referencing programmes," he continued, before concluding that his main job was to "make sense of this building". We know how he feels…

Before we had the chance to quaff down a fifth roast-beef-and-horseradish sandwich, two black cabs arrived to take us on to our slot at Tower Bridge (£16.60 per vehicle). Most of us had not visited the famous London landmark since school times (did you know it took 432 men eight years to complete the construction, at a cost of 10 lives, including the original architect?) and we were slightly disappointed with the covered walkway atop the fine structure.

Unlike Joe Public, however, we were given a tour of the hydraulic system to understand how the suspension bridge rises and falls just under 1,000 times a year. Inside those huge rock abutments is a vast open space, much of it below water level, in which a complex system of weights and pivots can bring down the bascules and open up the famous gateway.

But time was ticking away and we had a date with the 202-foot Monument, freshly reopened after its recent refurbishment. Instead of walking the short distance, we were to be picked up by taxis waiting "down an alley" by the nearby HMS Belfast. By now we were all wishing we had taken up the offer for a trip to the Guildhall lavatories and so it came as a relief to locate the taxis after what seemed like an eternity.

After our £14.20 trip (the metres were running from when we left Tower Bridge) we all made a beeline to the public toilets at Monument, providing one of the biggest surprises of the day: the facilities were spacious, clean and free. Not much has changed at Monument: there are still 311 steps to negotiate, the narrow entrance still serves as to discourage portly US tourists, the view is still pretty impressive - although the wire mesh (presumably to prevent suicides) impedes any successful attempts at photography.

At the bottom of Sir Christopher Wren's memorial to the Great Fire stood awaiting another rather fiery character, the Guildhall's head of press Greg Williams. Mr Williams, a trained Blue Badge Guide, enamoured himself to our group by almost instantly telling one radio reporter to "shut it, I do the talking here" and chastising another one for being "too lazy" after he took a long time to descent the tower (for the record, I was actually waiting for a group of German tourists to pass).

Mr Williams, a font of City knowledge, snaked us through the cobbled back-streets of Leadenhall Market and Bank, telling us anecdote after anecdote while shaming us with his bookish expertise. Days later, riot policemen would indiscriminately batter innocent passers-by on these very streets, and windows near the Bank of England were already being boarded up in preparation for the media bloodbath.

Unfortunately - for this was the highlight on the day's itinerary - our promised tour around the ornate Egyptian Hall of Mansion House was pulled owing to something or other about the approaching G20 Summit. Instead of meeting the Lord Mayor of the City of London in his official residence, we would have to settle for a session with him in the Guildhall.

With the clouds of the credit crunch hanging above his head (poor man to wait so long for his year-long stint as Lord Mayor only to be elected at such a turbulent time) Ian Luder talked about the economic agenda for the City, his fears of protectionism and his desire for global financial reform.

"This is an elephant running down the road and we all know the difference between an elephant and a rabbit," he said rather enigmatically about the topic of City bonuses and falling financial stalwarts like Sir Fred Godwin being paid off for failure. By now, concentration was waning and a cup of tea was in much need.

On our way out after a packed but enjoyable day Mr Williams pointed out the door to what he called "the figureheads' loo" - a sparkling cistern reserved only for people like the Queen or a visiting president. Had he made any attempt to covertly christen it? "No, I haven't," he replied, confused. Given the state of the "smelly" regular loos at the Guildhall, maybe he should try it one day?

Marathon Madness

Some crazy folk consider getting up early on a Sunday and running for 26 miles to be fun. Others take it one step further and decide to run the London Marathon dressed up as a stuffed donkey. One crazy couple even went as far as getting married along the way - stopping at the 24 mile mark to say "I do" after a swift shower. Conditions were exceptionally bright and sunny with temperatures peaking at 18.9C, causing 6,038 runners to need treatment - far more than the 4,093 last year. Well ahead of the fun runners and celebrities (Jordon and Peter Andre, and Gordon Ramsay among them) the women's competition was won by German Irina Mikitenko, who retained her title with a time of just over two hours and 22 minutes, while the men's record was broken by Samuel Wanjiru, who won in 2:05:10.

Island Anniversary

Amy Winehouse, Grace Jones and Paul Weller are all featuring in the Island 50 Festival, celebrating 50 years of Island Records. The special half century birthday celebrations - a week of live shows by artists represented by the well known record label - start on Tuesday 26th May at Shepherds Bush Empire. Lucky Londoners who managed to get their hands on these coveted tickets will be treated to performances by legendary artists including Aswad (Brinsley Forde, Drummie Zeb and Tony Gad), VV Brown, Tinchy Stryder and the i-Threes - featuring Bob Marley & The Wailers' backing singers Rita Marley, Marcia Griffiths and Erica Newell.

Put Yourself on a Pedestal

There's one place in London this summer where nudity and protest will be positively encouraged. And it doesn't get much more publicly prominent than the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square. Antony Gormley's 'One & Other' project means that, from 6th July, the empty plinth will be inhabited 24 hours a day for 100 days. So far 22,000 people have registered their interest in being part of the living sculpture. Of those, 2,400 will be randomly selected to take their place on the plinth for one hour to do as they wish (teeing off golf balls, anyone?). Gormley has said he fully accepts that there will be moments of outrageousness.

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